The April Fools Joke
by lauraconsa
Summary: Happy April Fools everyone! Three one-shots for each of the people I promised to write. I hope they forgive me by the end of the day. :
1. Chapter 1

Title: Something Wicked This Way Comes

Title: Something Wicked This Way Comes

Author: Kyatsuki Ora

Notes: Happy April's Fool Day everyone!! And may you have many many more!! One-shots for all the people I promised one. All of them are Bleach-related. _Italics are dreams._

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Something Wicked This Way Comes

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_Blood was splattered everywhere._

_Standing among what once was Los Noches, Sosuke Aizen tried to catch his breath while mentally counting the injuries he sustained. The ones on his legs and arms are superficial, but one on his chest is causing him to have breathing problems. Well, it could have been worse. A lot worse. At least his opponents are not fairing so well either. Temporarily sheathing his zanpaktou, his eyes tried to see through the cloud of dust._

_Soon, he was rewarded by a moving figure trying to stand up. He could see that the person wasn't succeeding in keeping upright because the blur fell back to the ground immediately. A smirk appeared when he heard coughing and a slight curse floated his way, which was replaced by a furrow on his brow when a string of words followed. _

_"By the East Gate's guard and the West Gate's sentry, the flowing of energy transfers, turns, and raises, Hado Level 76: Shattering Glass!"_

_Quickly flash-stepping to higher grounds, Aizen watched with no small amount of amusement as his trap was swept away as easily as a cobweb. If it wasn't a life and death situation, he would laugh and comment on his opponent's growing skills. But, seeing that it was not so, he frowned instead. One good thing from the spell's release of concentrated spiritual energy was that the dust all flew away, leaving with him a clear view of his enemies._

_Currently one was busy with trying to get rid of all the dust that landed in her wounds, while the other was trying and not succeeding in catching her breath. The standing one was currently saying to the sitting one. "Yare, Tsuki-chan! Are you trying to kill me?! You know I can't breathe when surrounded by stuff, much less under a foot of dust!" _

_Gasping, Tsuki replied scathingly, "Next time, Ryuu, you can take care of his level 80+ hado and kido spells he's sending our way! I'm getting tired of get ridding Kuro Hitsugi anyway."_

_Trying to fix her brown hair back into position, Ryuu laughed. "Thanks for reminding me why I never challenged you to a spell fight." Not hearing a reply, Ryuu looked down only to see Tsuki having a coughing fit. Alarmed, she sent a tendril of spiritual energy to boost her lungs. A few seconds Ryuu heard a thank you whispered by an exhausted Tsuki. Grinning, Ryuu said. "No problem. Are you better? We need to finish this."_

_Smiling wryly, Tsuki extended her hand. "Glad to see my skills are finally being appreciated."_

_"Of course! No one can say I don't since I'm such a generous person and all." Smiling, Ryuu pulled her best friend up._

"_Lies." Tsuki stuck her tongue out and picked up her book from the dust._

"_No I'm not!" Ryuu, said, mock hurting. "To show you, I'll buy you a gift when we get back to Seirei-tei." Tossing her head toward Aizen's direction, she continued. "But, we need to finish the job at hand."_

"_Finally finished talking?" Smirking, Aizen said condescendingly to the two below. He was not disappointed for the two promptly glared at him and flash-stepped to the opposite of the ruins he's standing on. "Since either of us have the upper hand in this battle, would you reconsider of continuing this at another time?"_

_Ryuu glanced at her partner and was slightly worried. As much as she would hate to admit, Aizen's right. Between attacking him and protecting Ryuu, Tsuki's much more drained that her right now since her main fighting techniques are all spell-type. She's surprised that Tsuki lasted this long. Usually, she had to rest after only a few hours. But now they have been fighting for almost two days._

_Seeing Ryuu staring at her, Tsuki said reassuringly. "Don't worry. I haven't been pestering Ukitake-taichou for nothing." To Ryuu's shock, Tsuki pulled out her arm-length katana and pointed it at Aizen, her smile wintry and cold. "I agree, Aizen-san. It's time we stop playing games -"_

_Buoyed by the sudden increase in her spiritual pressure, Ryuu's optimism returned. She pulled her twin blade zanpaktous from their resting placed and twirled in her hand. "- and finished you off!"_

_Not cowing from their show of strength, Aizen unsheathed his zanpaktou and declared. "So be it."_

_Abandoning every restraint, they unleashed their bankai and rushed toward each other at top speed. The clash of spiritual energy demolished everything that's standing within a mile's radius. When all the dirt finally fell, it was clear that, with two knives deeply buried in his heart, Aizen is - _

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Tori sprang up from her bead, breathless from the horror of the nightmare. Too tense to go back to sleep, she got dressed and walked into the night to calm down. There's no way that it could happen! But the dream felt so real, maybe it's some sort of premonition….? She wandered around, agitating over Aizen's welfare when she noticed that another person is up at the same ungodly hour she's in.

"Tsuki-chaaan!" Sneaking up on her best friend, Tori jumped on her and hugged her tightly, "Thank the heavens you're here!!"

A tired smile appeared. "And why is that, Tori-san?'

Tori smiled brightly. "Because I've got soooo much to tell you! But, before that, how's the mission in the human world?" Noticing the bandages and the blood on her clothes, Tori exclaimed. "You're hurt! What about Ryuu? Is she okay?"

"The mission went well, and we're fine. Ryuu is being held by Unohana-taichou for the moment. I just got released when you found me." Sitting down, Tsuki suddenly changed the subject. "What did you want to tell me anyway?"

All her previous fears rushing back, Tori started to rant. "On, I had this dream about Aizen just a minute ago! And I'm afraid that something bad might happen to him no! And - "

"All right! I get it!" Laughing softly, Tsuki stopped her friend's voice from waking everyone else in their surrounding. "Would you at least tell me what the dream is so I could be the judge of that?"

Quickly, Tori reiterated the whole dream, noticing that Tsuki's face is getting paler and paler as she spoke. "…Are you okay, Tsuki?"

Not saying anything, Tsuki abruptly stood up and dragged Tori with her. In vain did Tori try to ask where they're going until they stopped in front of Mayuri's lab.

"What are you doing?!" Tori hissed. "You know we'll be dea- "

The rest of the thought was cut off as Tsuki suddenly jumped; bringing Tori face to face with one of the many doors in the compound. Pointing to it, she said softly, sorrow evident in her voice. "Go in there and look, Tori-san."

Suddenly afraid, Tori pulled on Tsuki's sleeve, refusing to let her go. "Tell me!! What's in there?"

Almost relenting, Tsuki replied. "You'll have to see for yourself. I'll warn you if anyone come near." With that, she leap on to the roof and raced away, leaving Tori there with her thoughts. Her hands shook as she went to grasp the door knob. Turning it, she involuntarily closed her eyes before pushing it wide open. Then, upon hearing the door hitting the wall, she opened her eyes.

A horrified gasp escaped her. Not knowing how, she moved into the room and closed the door behind her. It's unbearably cold, but she didn't seem to notice the discomfort. All her focus was on the table covered by a pristine white sheet. Trembling now, she reached toward the table. Even though her intention was to just lift a corner of the fabric, but her trembling lead her to pull it off entirely.

"No…" Tears slid down Tori's cheek, her worst nightmare confirmed. On the table was the body of Sosuke Aizen, posthumous. All the blood was drained to preserve the tissue, leaving him deathly pale. So her dream was true after all…..

"AIZEN!!" Tori howled, unable to contain her grief any longer. She collapsed by his side, weeping for the loss of his life. Several lifetimes seemed to pass away as Tori sobbed everything she ever felt about him. For a while she just lay there, not thinking or doing anything. She only moved when someone lightly tapped her on the shoulder.

"Oi! What in the world are you thinking?! Good thing this room is pretty deeply buried inside the lab too. You know what Mayuri does to the intruders he find. And what are you wailing your head off for anyway? You looked half dead though. What happened?" Ryuu, finally released by Unohana, immediately left to search for Tsuki. Instead, she heard someone screaming their head off in Mayuri's lab. Deciding to rescue what poor soul that's being tortured by his traps, she flashed toward the direction. All she found was Tori crying herself senseless. Does the world have to turn topsy-turvy every time she left for any amount of time? As she finished her self-rant, Ryuu found a pair of intensely furious eyes directed at her.

Without warning, Tori had Ryuu pinned against the wall by the throat. "WHY?! Why did you and Tsuki have to go and kill him?!"

Trying to use the remaining space in her esophagus to breath, Ryuu can only gasp. "Kill who?!"

The words only manage to infuriate Tori more. "You know who I'm talking about!! AIZEN!! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO KILL AIZEN?!"

Almost choking from the strangling hold Tori has on her, Ryuu said hoarsely. "Kill Aizen?! He's not dead!! Why would I kill him?!"

Releasing Ryuu, Tori stared at the figure collapsed on the ground. Tears started to fall again. "Don't lie to me!! If he's not dead, then why is he lying on a table here?!"

Making sure that nothing is damaged, Ryuu stood up again and said quickly and calmly. "That's not Aizen."

"THAT'S - " Tori was about to start shouting again, when Ryuu's words sank in. Blinking rapidly, Tori asked, puzzled. "What do you mean? 'That's not Aizen'?"

Sighing, Ryuu walked over to Tori. "That's his sword. We found it on on of the arrancars. We still don't know why Aizen would give it to someone else. Probably don't need it anymore. Anyway, it is still in its illusion. It'll turn back later. This room is designed to repress the spiritual pressure and effects of zanpaktous. That's the reason why I didn't believe this is the real Aizen." Shaking her head, Ryuu stared at the copy. "You've got duped, that's for sure. Although I wonder who…"

Narrowing her eyes, Tori suddenly left the room.

Several minutes later, she ended up on Tsuki's doorstep. An envelope taped to the door was addressed to Tori.

This is its content:

Hello Tori-san .

If I deduced correctly, you will be showing up on my porch after seeing what you saw. Unfortunately, I am required to go on an urgent trip at the moment. So I am immensely sorry at not being able to see you.

Sincerely,

Tsuki

P.S.: Look in the back.

Tori flipped the short note to the back.

"Happy April's Fool Day, Tori-san!! I hope Ryuu-san gets to see the result of my scheme and describe it to me one day. Oh yeah! If Ryuu-san hasn't told you yet, it's not really Aizen there, it's just his sword.  Also, my trip wasn't all that urgent. I just thought that if I don't get away for a while, I _might_in mortal danger.

Ja ne"

Tori and Ryuu stared at the note, utterly stunned at the content before Tori shouted. "I AM SO GOING TO MURDER THAT BAKA ONNA!!"

She proceeded to rant and rage until one of the neighbors finally couldn't stand it anymore and finally came out and knocked her out

Owari

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_Three little cosplayers went to a funeral; one cried her heart out and then there were two…_


	2. Chapter 2

Title: The Destiny and What It Contains

Title: Destiny and Its Implications

Author: Kyatsuki Ora

Notes: Happy April's Fool Day everyone!! And may you have many many more!! One-shots for all the people I promised one. All of them are Bleach-related.

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Destiny and Its Implications

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"SHIROU-CHAN!!"

Turning, the said white head smiled at the source of the noise. "Hey there, Yachiru. Do you need something?"

The pink-hair vice captain nodded seriously. "I need you to go and watch this video immediately. It's urgent."

"Of course." Taking the film from her hand, Shirou made a slight bow and flash-stepped immediately into his room in the Twelfth Division. Before putting the tape in, however, he went and got himself some ice cream. What could be so urgent? If it really was, then wouldn't Kenpachi personally tell him? Glancing at the pile of Death Note and Naruto mangas he bought in the human world, he was sorely tempted to ditch the video and start reading. But, he decided, maybe it IS really urgent. So, popping the film in, he sat down on the sofa and wait for it to play.

"Hello there." A disembodied voice said as the screen flickered to life with the words on the screen. It sounded cheery, but he couldn't place who is the owner. "This will be film that will change your life forever. So, please put down the ice cream so we won't ruin our clothes, ok?"

Apparently, whoever made the film definitely knows him. Sighing, he didn't place it down. No one can see him anyway.

"That's not nice, Shirou-san. You really need to listen to what I'm saying. Please put the ice cream down."

He did a double take, almost choking. What in the world…? Ok, so the person knows him _really_ well then. Placing the ice cream down, Shirou waited for a second before the tape continued to say, "Thank you, Shirou-san. Now let's continue, shall we?"

"This is the first part you'll be viewing. Please pay close attention."

What happened next blew his mind. It is the anime version of Death Note, something he wanted to see for ages. Settling down on his sofa, Shirou was enjoying the show when it suddenly fizzed for a moment before switching to the last episode. Then it was fast-forwarded to the part where Light goes insane and Ryuk killed him with the death note. Shirou sat there, mouth gaping. He was so stunned that he didn't even think up a snide comment to throw at it.

Suddenly, the tape backed up to the moment where Light's face filled up the screen. A new voice started commenting. "That is the worst ending ever! I mean," A pencil drew several circles around his face, "what the hell is this?! He goes insane? Couldn't you think up a good way to kill him?! But," the voice turned thoughtful. "I suppose it's quite a fitting ending. He is quite a prude, don't you agree? The whole take over the world thing was probably baloney from the start. He probably made it up so he could have an excuse fulfill his sadistic desires. Anyway, he's dead. So let's move on with the show."

Rage flushed his cheeks. Not only had they insulted his favorite character in that series, they had just ruined the ending for him!! About to close the video, the next flashing images caught his eyes.

This time he literally tripped over the sofa and fell on it in a heap. The video was showing a Naruto clip. It was the place where Kabuto tells everyone that he has taken Orochimaru into himself and is determined to carry on his legacy. If it wasn't for the shock, he would have thrown up all over the floor. The way Kabuto's other eye look like someone just dug it out and glued it very messily onto him.

Again the obnoxious voice came back. "Ok, maybe I didn't give Light enough credit. He, at least, kept himself apart from his successors and wasn't keen on possessing them so that he could always rule the world. Orochimaru was sick, but for Kabuto to take such a bastard into himself and feel proud of it… I mean, look at the eye!" A sharpie appeared this time, drawing around the snake eye until only the iris is showing. "I think I just lost all respect for him. In the beginning, he was cool and evil. Now he's just sick and plain twisted. What happened to good plot twists?"

Not even pausing to allow time for Shirou to think, the video moved on to another clip. This time, it dealt with someone he knew, or at least heard of, in his life. Uryu Ishida. He lost all his Quincy powers when he fought Mayuri. This clip shows what happened afterwards. Ryuuken Ishida, his father, showed up and defeated the hollow that's being chasing him. After making a blatant show of power, Ryuuken shot down everything Uryu has hoped for, telling him that since he lost all his powers, he's basically worthless.

"All right," the snide voice came back, chuckling. "Uryu's absolutely one of the good characters in there that I think deserves something more, but he's pretty stupid on some stuff. Like the whole losing-his-power thing. It's kinda dumb. He could ask Orihime to use her own powers to help him except, oh no, he had to go and be all 'manly'." You could hear the quotation marks in the way she said it. "Oh well. I guess all the smart people are dumb when it comes to common sense. But the put down was amazing, don't you agree? I haven't heard quite such a chilling one until this. Anyway, how's the video? Do you like it?"

"Are you freaking serious?!" Shirou finally blew the top. He stood and pointed his finger at the TV. "You've just about insulted every flipping character that I liked and all you can say is 'do you like it?'!? I sure as hell don't!! So go and burn yourself somewhere, you bastard!!"

All the screen did in reply was to say the end. Then it flashed POST SCRIPT in neon blue and green. It flashed one more time before settling into a flat white with black dots in the middle. Despite the anger, Shirou walked over to the screen and stared at the dots. They are, in fact, words, and this is what they said. "This is your destiny, Shirou-san. Embrace your destiny…"

"'Embrace your…'" He realized that he was reading it out loud and the meaning didn't sink in until about a nanosecond later. Swiftly, he ejected the tape, lit a match, tossed it in with a can of kerosene in his backyard, and quickly stalked to find a certain pink-hair person.

"Hey there, Shirou-chan!" Yachiru shouted happily when he stalked into her office. "What's - "

"Who gave you the tape?" He cut her off and slammed his hands on the table, startling Yachiru a bit before she snapped right back.

"Oh! Tsuki-chan gave it to me. She said that you and she are making a video and she wants you to look at the final result. That's all - " Before she could finish, Shirou already flash-stepped out of her office.

"Hmm…." Yachiru's assisstant looked at the retreating figure, worried. "He looked like he was about to kill someone…"

All the vice captain did was smile even more brightly. "Oh it's all right. Shirou-chan won't do that to anyone."

"I'm not so sure…" was the reply.

Meanwhile, Shirou reached Tsuki's house and was about to blast it into oblivion when something fell on top of his head. It was an envelope addressed to him. It said:

Hey there, Shirou-san.

If you got this, it means that you've come to look for me about the video.

Unfortunately, I am required to go on an urgent trip at the moment. So I am immensely sorry at not being able to see you.

Sincerely,

Tsuki

P.S.: Look in the back.

He flipped to the back and found more words.

"Happy April's Fool Day, Shirou-san!! I hope Ryuu-san and Tori-san gets to see the result of my scheme and describe it to me one day. Oh yeah! If they haven't told you yet, my trip wasn't all that urgent. I just thought that if I don't get away for a while, I _might_in mortal danger. 

Ja ne"

Staring incredulously at the letter, he crumbled it, tossed it, and proceeded to destroy everything in his vincity. "I AM SO GOING TO MURDER THAT BAKA ONNA!!"

It was a while before someone came and knocked him out. Fortunately, he didn't cause quite as much damage. Tsuki's house was not touched in anyway.

Owari

--

_Two little cosplayers went to a video store; one burned everything and then there was one… _

P.S.: (a real post script this time) If you are really, really dense, then you probably need to read this. Shirou-san is you, Connor.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Unrequited Love

Title: Unrequited Love

Author: Kyatsuki Ora

Notes: Happy April's Fool Day everyone!! And may you have many many more!! One-shots for all the people I promised one. All of them are Bleach-related. _Italics are thoughts._

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Unrequited Love

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Ryuu sighed, for the umpteenth time in the day's course. She's not the type to worry unduly, but this time it's not going away. And she's not the unconfident type either, although these days that seemed to be the perfect description for her character. Urahara is plaguing her mind that the moment. There's a tarot site she often visited because it always showed the truth about her future. The cards always should favor to her, but recently, there seemed be a negative turn in her life. It should that her love will always be unrequited. It's worrying her to no end because she was contemplating on telling Urahara about what she felt for him, but this turn of events is giving her a lot of doubts

. Dropping off her paperwork, Ryuu flash-stepped into her room when she found a letter on the desk addressed to her. Her eyes grew wider and wider as she scan the letter. It reads:

Hello, Ryuu!

This is Urahara writing from his beloved shop in the human world, although you probably knew that by looking at the hand writing. Anyway, back to the subject at hand. I have an urgent question, so I want to enlist your advice.

I…like someone. _Gulp._ A lot. She's intelligent, witty, and wise. A very mischievous person by nature too. I dare say you know the person too. She's almost my height, just shying one inch. She has short, brown hair and is friends with Yoruichi. Yoruichi even admitted that the only person who can match her in speed is her. Her best friends are Tsuki and Tori, and she is currently helping with the mission of killing all the arrancars in Huec Mundo. I could go on about more details, but I would just bore you. After all, you should know perfectly well who I am talking about by now. _When she read to this part, her hand was shaking._

I love you, Ryuu.

Kisuke Urahara.

Ryuu was almost overwhelmed by the emotions she's feeling. The reading was completely wrong! She wanted to sing to the world about her happiness, but couldn't since two of her friends are currently suffering from post-traumatic experiences. However, someone knocked on her door just as she was about to go outside.

"Matsumoto!" Ryuu opened the door with a huge smile on her face.

"Woah! The brightness is blinding me!" Matsumoto mock cried at the sight of the smile. Flapping her hand, she continued. "Forget it. What's the good news?"

"I'll tell you later over sake." Ryuu grinned, toning it down for a bit. "Anyway, what are you here for?"

"Oh yeah. I almost forgot because of the blinding nature of your smile!" That remark earned her a punch on the arm. "Ouch! You didn't need to hit that hard! Anyway, the news I was suppose to tell you before - okay I'll stop the 'blindness' jokes! The news, so the news was that Yoruichi and Kisuke are going to be married a week from Thursday, and they're inviting everyone who wants to go from Soul Society. Thought you would like to know before the mass exodus."

Matsumoto was slightly worried by the weird look in her eyes. "Hey! What's with the blank eyes?"

"That's impossible!" Ryuu cried out, backing away from her friend.

"What's impossible?" The blonde-hair woman asked, slightly confused.

"If what you said is true, how can you explain this letter then?" Ryuu waved the paper around, agitated.

"Well, I don't know what is in that letter of yours. But I know Tsuki's the one who put it in your room." Matsumoto sighed. "So - "

Ryuu rushed out of her house before Matsumoto could say another word. She quickly reached Tsuki's place but found no one's there. When she was about to step off the porch, a loose board sprang up, slapping a letter to her forehead. Finding that it was addressed to her, she quickly ripped it open. On the paper were inscribed these words:

Hey Ryuu-san!

If I know you as I think I do, you will be by the time you finished the letter. Unfortunately, I am required to go on an urgent trip at the moment. So I am immensely sorry at not being able to see you.

Sincerely,

Tsuki

P.S.: Look in the back.

Ryuu flipped it over.

"Happy April's Fool Day, Ryuu-san!! I hope Tori-san gets to see the result of my scheme and describe it to me one day. Oh yeah! It's not really Urahara who wrote the letter. He would totally ruin his image by doing that.  Also, my trip wasn't all that urgent. I just thought that if I don't get away for a while, I _might_in mortal danger.

Ja ne

Ryuu stared for a minute at the note before tearing it up. "I AM SO GOING TO MURDER THAT BAKA ONNA!!"

To vent steam, she ran around town, knocking several people off of their feet from her speed. Finally, Soifon caught up with her and knocked her out.

Owari

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_One little cosplayer went to a fan fiction store; she read the shortest fanfic ever and then there are none._


End file.
